I keep trying to write more often, but somehow I always get side-tracked, busy, or just plain tired. The last 3 to even 5 weeks have gone flying by. All of a sudden its Friday, when I get to hang out with my friends in Hamburg which I absolutely love, and then the weekends over, Monday starts again, and I'm anxious for the weekend so I can see my best friends here. Plus, going to school most of the day, then killing time before I go to bed goes faster than you'd think. It's like the days here are zooming past me, or I feel like I'm sitting in my most boring classes for hours during the school day.

I think it was a few weeks ago, or maybe just last week or so, but I went through this awful patch where I was alone a lot due to my host mom and brother both working (which I was okay with for the most part really - I have enough time to myself here, and I'm used to family members working, so it wasn't really the main part), and I don't know why, but I couldn't really focus on anything at home or at school, my brain couldn't or just wouldn't decide which language to think in and so I just had a really difficult time overall just trying to hold conversations in German that I normally could, and I don't know why, but I just felt awkward at times with my family (sometimes a little unwelcome), and things my brother did/does ate at me much more and faster than usual. I hated feeling that way; always tired, frustrated, low on patience, not wanting to talk to anyone, but doing it anyways to hopefully feel better (which it really didn't because those I could talk to didn't or wouldn't've understood, and the others I couldn't explain it to due to language barriers, but I'm not close enough really to someone special I could talk to here anyways, not that I particularly wanted to 'talk about my feelings' with anyone. On top of all of that, getting a rant from my biology teacher about 'why I'm here,' how my 'German isn't improving fast enough' and that the private lessons I'm taking 'aren't enough' for me (all talking to me in German like I couldn't speak at all in the middle of class), was less than welcome and enjoyable, and what could I do but sit there. That was awesome on top of everything else. Having to listen to someone tell me everything I've learned and all of my efforts over the last 4 months aren't good enough, and talking to me like she knew all about my exchange, why I was here, and exactly what I should be doing. Dealing with things alone or in my head is generally what I do, so I kept most of it quiet (about all that wasn't going great) because I really didn't want or need to create a big[ger] problem out of something somewhat small, and I didn't realize how frustrated and just upset I was until I finally Skyped my mom mainly, but also most of the rest of my family, and I could finally talk to someone I felt understood most of it, or just would listen, although dealing with my own problems is something I've gotten very good at, and will continue to do.
(It has never been a problem to go to my Rotary about, and if I needed or wanted to, I do have my host mom here, although none of it really came to that. It all sounds and feels slightly different writing it than it does when I think about it, or when it was all happening).

I'm still not fully over feeling like that, and some of the problems I was dealing with are still continuing, but that's what a Rotary Smile is for (thank you Bob and Phil), and I also just didn't want myself to go into this huge patch of homesickness I think I almost felt, because everything was just so frustrating and just wasn't feeling great, and of course I knew I would never feel that at home. Hanging out with my best friends here (the Exchange Students) is something that I absolutely love, and look forward to every week, and this past weekend it was the first I got to see them (our Hamburg-group) in over two weeks, and after being alone so much and just everything that happened, it was so great and just relieving to hang out and have fun with them, and it really did help to make me feel better too actually.

Going on right now is a type of carnival/festival called Hamburger Dom in the city Hamburg, and I got to go for the second time this past weekend when I was hanging out with the Exchange Students. My mom told me beforehand that the Hamburger Dom is "So wie Oktoberfest aber ohne die Bier," (like October Fest but without so much beer), which I definitely saw once I got there. So much was the same, so many stands, the Lebkuchen hearts, games and rides, but as my mom said, without typical beers or Brauhauses (or the Dirndls and Lederhosen), and definitely much smaller. We definitely had fun there though, and I'll hopefully be going back before the winter Dom ends.

'Hamburg' Riesenrad : 'Hamburg' Ferris Wheel

Ein paar der Austausch Schulern : A few of the Exchange Students

Me, Ariel (Taiwan), Aranza (Mexico), and Yuri (Brasil)

I was sitting on a bus to my school yesterday (Nov. 6), and a certain song came on my iPod. Since the very beginning I've tied this song directly into my Exchange (for multiple reasons), and it made me just think. A lot. About time, how fast it moves, and how it can change people, places, and things, how it's changed me already since I've been here, and also about chances. If I made one different decision through this entire process of coming on Exchange I could be living in a completely different country, and have completely different lessons and memories than the ones that I have now. I wrote this next part in about 3 minutes, while sitting on that bus, listening to my Exchange song, and every word is true:

"I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started this whole process. There's no way that I could explain, or fully describe what being on Exchange is like, but I have never been more grateful to myself for the decision I made to come here. It's uncertain, exciting, opens your mind, and gives you something you could never experience any place else. I could never explain how grateful I am for being able to come and live here, and I don't know what may happen in the future, but I know that coming on Exchange is the best decision I could have made. I've already learned more than I could tell you (in many different aspects), opened my mind in ways I didn't know was possible, and let me find a kind of happiness I could never find somewhere else."

NOVEMBER. O.O
Somebody please slow down time, and do it now. Although I know it's still the first half of my Exchange, I can't help but notice how quickly a month really does fly by, given school, my weekly/daily routines, and dates for Rotary I'm always looking forward to, days are long, weeks are short, and months are shorter.

As a kind of last minute decision 2 weeks ago, I slept at my friend Laura's (Colombia) for 2 nights, and we went to Berlin with her host dad! We saw the famous monuments, got to climb one of them, saw pieces of the Berlin Wall, saw a protest, went in a really cool museum, and later met up with her host mom there. We also ran into these two soldiers in front of the Brandenburger Tor, which turned out to be extremely funny. The day I got to spend there really was a lot of fun, but later on, we both got an Überraschung (oobeh-ra-shung a.k.a. surprise)! Laura's host parents got tickets to a type of circus-stunt-show called 'Flic Flac.' They had jugglers, gymnasts, BMX bikers, motocross bikes, acrobats, and so much more. We were on the edge of our seats through a lot of it, but we both thought it was amazing.

Vor dem Brandenburger Tor! : In front of the Brandenburger Gate!

Blick von der Siegessäule : View from the VIctory Column

Deutschland wichtigsten Kongress Gebäude : Germany's most important/main Congress building

Flic Flac!

Bikers innerhalb der Holzkugel : Bikers inside the wooden ball

Drei, fünf, und dann insgesamt neun ging hinein : Three, five, and then nine in total went inside

Eines der Akrobat Teams : One of the acrobat teams

A week or two after that, I finally went again to one of the weekly Rotary Club Meetings here, which was mainly a finance presentation, but still good to get to know more Rotarians and Club members better, and they are all very understanding and easy for me to talk to, however the meetings are still at a much more formal level and feeling than those back home, and I am actually the only inbound that the Club is hosting, so I can count on being the only Exchange Student there every week, but they're still good nonetheless.

It's been about a week since I attended the last Club meeting, and within the time I've had a few really fun days (a Hamburg-Tag done by the Rotex for the Inbounds, and meeting up with the Exchange Students again<3), but I mainly have quiet days; go to school, come home and help my mom with dinner, study for school and do homework, watch German Soaps and Crime-shows with my mom and brother, and things like that. But even on the 'boring,' or not-so-good days (like last week when I got sick for the second time), I still wouldn't want to be any place else. I hear some people complaining of- or saying that they're homesick, and every time I'm asked that question (am I homesick?), the answer is honestly no. Sometimes I do miss being able to laugh and be with my sisters, my dads hugs and my moms loving smile, but I'll be back home waaay too soon for me to be comfortable with, and any time I would spend here 'wishing I was somewhere else' or 'wanting to go home,' seems like a waste of the opportunity of a lifetime that I'm getting to live right now. But it's not just that, (it's so much more than I could say), but I really do love it here. The people I've met, the friends I've made, and the memories I already have I honestly wouldn't trade for anything. 

Blick von St. Michaelis Kirche : View from St. Michaelis church

Hamburg Tag mit Austausch Schulern<3 : Hamburg Day with Exchange Students<3

Meine Stadt bei Nacht auf dem Fluss : My city at night on the river

So: I've been planning to write now for a pretty long time. So much has been going on and I've been so busy I kept pushing back a day and a day and before I knew it, it had been 3 weeks. Time seriously flies. Fast. In the beginning of Oktober on the 3rd, I left with 19 other Exchange students for a week long trip to Bayern!

http://mapsof.net/map/germany-and-netherlands-map#.Ul4XKVBmim4

This map ^ shows the German 'states,' and Bayern is the southern-most state

http://www.gss.ucsb.edu/projects/hesse/events/German/images/180px-Garmisch-Partenkirchen_in_Bayern.jpg

We didn't actually stay in München, but actually in a town called Garmisch Parten-kirchen, which was about a 2 hour train ride from the München Hauptbahnhof (howpt-bon-hoff a.k.a. the central train station), and this map ^ shows approximately where the town in located - extremely close to the Austrian boarder.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/47/Garmisch-Partenkirchen.JPG

And this map is a basic overview of the town lined by the Alps

We stayed in a Jugendherberge (yoo-gund-hair-bear-geh a.k.a. a youth hostel) and right out the window you could see the view of the mountains. I roomed with all native Spanish speakers; my friends Berenice (Paraguay), Aranza (México), and Laura (Columbia). I can't think of a single day that went by that wasn't such a great, fun time, where I definitely made a lot of memories, but the trip in a whole definitely had its ups and downs. I know I became a lot closer with most of the people there on that trip, some of which I had never actually really spoken to before that. I know that we all had such a great time though, and I miss being there with all of them.

The highlights of the trip were: visiting Schloss Neuschwanstein (noi-shvan-shtine), München Stadt (city), Zugspitze (tsoog-shpit-tsuh), an Olympic SkiJump Stadium, and Oktoberfest!!

Schloss Neuschwanstein was beautiful. A long walk up to, and around it meant tired feet and legs, but definitely worth it. The castle (schloss) was so huge, had amazing details, and we were given audio-tours in our native languages (most of us), however no cameras were actually allowed inside. We got to go out on a balcony on the castle to take pictures of the incredible view looking down on the town with a lake, and the beautiful mountains surrounding it.

The view from the balcony on Schloss Neuschwanstein

View from the walkway up past the castle to a bridge

Beautiful Schloss Neuschwanstein

And the balcony we stood on is on the far left side of the castle

The view from standing on a bridge across from the castle

Another thing we got to do was go to Zugspitze (rail-train up most of one of the mountains, and then walk a little to a viewing spot near a restaurant). I absolutely loved it. It was incredible, and unreal, and breath-taking, and I know I could never describe it good enough for how it really was. Some of my Latino friends (as well as an American friend actually) got to see snow for the first time, and we also all got to go sledding down a small hill on the mountain!

Views from the lower viewing area of the Alps<3

After a while, we took a Seilbahn (tseyel-bon a.k.a. cable car) up to the highest point there, and I got to 'free climb' using just a guide wire attached to the mountain and go to the spot with a golden cross, which is really the marker for Zugspitze (2,962m). Absolutely incredible. I definitely did not want to leave. I stood and looked out at mountain-tops peaking out above the clouds, watched an entire mountain range disappear behind a curtain of fog in less than a minute, and reappear with millions of details like magic.

Just some more views from the top of Zugspitze.<3

And yes, I am crazy, and yes, I did climb up to where all those people are ^ if I fell, I seriously would have been hurt; I walked on the edges, it honestly was a little nerve wracking for a few seconds, but it was so amazing, and I'm so glad I got to see everything for myself - because there's no way that these pictures can do it anywhere near justice. 

And  a little view from the other side

Up next: München Stadt und Oktoberfest! I was really looking forward to both of these a lot, since I had heard how beautiful the city is, as well as everything that I had heard beforehand about Oktoberfest!

I thought that the city was absolutely beautiful. So much old architecture and incredible Kirchen (keer-khen a.k.a. churches, but more like or cathedrals), cobblestone streets, café's, shops and stores, restaurants, but really all the beautiful buildings of the city. We visited I believe 3 different Kirchen, climbed 306 steps (yes, we counted) for an amazing view over the foggy city, and got time to ourselves to also explore for a little. OKTOBERFEST! :D I think that all of the Exchange students were pretty excited for that. It went from Samstag (Zamz-tak a.k.a. Saturday) Sept. 21. bis Sonntag (Zone-tak a.k.a. Sunday) Okt. 6., and we went only for the last day. For those who wanted to and/or could, they rocked their Lederhosen (lay-deh-ho-zin) und Dirndl's (dern-delz) but unfortunately I didn't have one, so the rest of us wore traditional fishing hemps (type of shirt), and braids which is classic for Bavaria (more for older times). It was a huge festival with games, rides, Brauhauses (very large restaurant-type places with loud music), stands, and so much more.

Kirche 1

So ein schönes Platz : Such a beautiful place

306 Treppen Später... : 306 stairs later...

Kirche 2

And now for some Oktoberfest:

Workin it.

Maddy, Charlotte, Matheus, Laura, und Berenice

Brauhauses!

Very popular Lebkuchen, worn with the string around your neck, and of course, edible

Bayerish is almost completely different from Nordhochdeutsch (North High-German; what's mainly taught as German and what I learned, and the two dialects sometimes actually can't understand each other.)

Bayrish: I mog di

German: Ich mag dich / Ich liebe dich

Englisch: I love you

Aranza und ich!

I had such an amazing time in Bayern, and have gotten to meet with the Exchange Students quite a bit actually since then. And yesterday, for my birthday, I was surprised by about 12 of them who all came over, and we definitely had such a great time.  I love my crazy friends, am so grateful for everything I've been able to do and experience so far.

Also, today I sent in my first Quarterly Report... the time's going fast. Done counting days, even weeks, now I'm keeping track of months. It scares me that it's going so fast, but I remind myself almost daily to just relax, and enjoy.

This past weekend was probably the best time I've had so far here in Germany. From Friday to Sunday (today), all of the Exchange Students here in District 1890 traveled up to Heide (about 1.5-2 hours north-west of Hamburg with a car) for our first Orientation. We got to officially meet Jochen Barckmann, Gesa Völkl,  and Karin Gutjahr, who are different Rotarians, and also a few Rotex people who are also here for the Inbounds. I absolutely love meeting with Exchange Students, and have actually been looking forward to this weekend since pretty early in my Exchange. Never before meeting the 2 girls that I got roomed with (Rachel - USA, and Georgia - Australia), we became extremely fast friends, and I already miss being able to talk to and joke around with them.

Saturday morning continued like the night before with a couple different Exchangers from Brasil playing guitar, and everybody singing different songs from their Heimatland (home country). After a cool and windy 2.5 hour boat ride from Büsum, we arrived at Helgoland which is a small island in the North Sea. There, we got to walk along the beach, take pictures of the Grey-Seals, and then have lunch in a small restaurant, before riding to the other island, Heligoland. Here, we got to walk around the small city, shop, and take pictures before having to to finally head back to Heide.

Grey-Seals on the shore of Helgoland in the North Sea

The restaurant on the beach of the island 

Crazy Exchangers<3

The second island, Heligoland

Overview of the island!

Later that night we got to do presentations for each country, which included singing, videos, and a lot of dancing! There are people from Brasil, Mexiko, Ecuador, Columbia, Paraguay, Chile, Argentina, Taiwan, Thailand, India, Japan, South Korea, Australia, America, Canada, Russia, and also Finland; for a total of 58 inbounds (which is a pretty big group). The Americans all said their state (theres about 9 of us), and then we decided on singing 'Sweet Caroline'. The rest of the night afterwards was so much fun being able to have a party with all of the Exchange Students, as well as Rotex, and have an amazing time together. 

The way I'm explaining parts of what went on during the orientation could never do the weekend justice. People you never even knew 2 days ago suddenly become your best friends, and even though we know we'll see each other again soon, goodbyes here are never fun. I drove to and from the orientation with my YEO (Youth Exchange Officer; Herr Schulze), and I remember on the way back as we were leaving, feeling this huge pulling sadness in my stomach, and how I almost wanted to cry because I already missed them all so much. I couldn't help but think that this was just the beginning of what it's going to be like months from now, when we know we won't see some of our best friends for a long time. Talking to Exchange Students afterwards, all we could say was how much we wanted to go back, how we couldn't wait for the next meeting and orientation, and making plans together for the time inbetween. Exchange really does give you the most incredible friends in the world, and from all over the world. It gives you something unique between each other that I know you would just never find any place else. There really is nothing like Exchange friends.

D1890 Inbounds 2013-14! 

P.S. Tuesday, (Sept. 24.) is officially two months for me here in Germany. You don't believe time really does fly until you begin watching it disappear. Being on the plane feels like yesterday, but the difference between where I was, and who I am from then to know in really incredible. And I honestly wouldn't trade that for anything.

This week has gone from cold to colder, with wind and rain almost every day. I'm trying to decide if the weather has something to do with me finally getting sick. Typical head cold for the past few days, but unlike at home, I really can't do anything for it here. And I'm still going to school as usual, but I kind of wish I wasn't. But just like when I'm at home, I still just kind of deal with it, and go as normal. 

Earlier this week I got to Skype with my real mom, sister, and dad for the 2nd time since I got here, exactly seven weeks ago. It really was great to talk to all of them. There's not quite anyone here that I'm that close to yet in comparison to my family, and it was nice to almost catch up with what's going on in their lives, and also my little sisters new life in high school (which I still can't really believe she's old enough for..). We talked for over 3 hours, which for me, definitely flew by. I understand how my sister must've felt. Being connected back home for a while, but when you finally hit the red button; you're left alone, without your family, in silence. It wasn't necessarily a 'bad' thing, but it was much different than I remember it being on the other side of the calls. One of the Exchange Students in my district here told me that he Skype's with his family almost every day. Granted I was able to learn German before I came here, so it's easier to communicate here, I'm happy with Skyping or really talking on a less frequent basis. I think that it's probably a lot better (at least for me); so I'm tied into my new family and friends much better, instead of my computer. 

Also during the past few weeks, I've had my first private German lessons with a friend of my host mom's who's gotten to study languages. My first lesson was with another girl in the district who's from Colombia, but my second was just Frau Fröhlich and I. The beginning of the lesson's was just an overall assessment, but she said that my German was already very good, and she was surprised at how much I could speak and understand. Our lessons are about 20 minutes from my school (by foot), and we've read, written, spoken, sang, and of course laughed. I already like going to the German lessons (1-2 hours), and I'm also beginning to read short Märchen (fairytales) for us to work with. I think that I was one of the only Exchange Students in the area that didn't actually attend a language course provided by Rotary, but I'm glad now that I'm getting extra help to hopefully get me speaking and understand everything so much faster!

Just a little while ago we got a call that my Rotary allowance was finally in my account here for July, August, and September. Later this month we have our first Rotary Orientation, and I've been making plans with Exchange Students, and my friends from school. Now if only I wasn't sick!

I realized a few minutes ago that I'm in my third month on Exchange... July, August, September... August seems to have definitely flown by. I'm sitting here astonished, thinking there's no way that that much time could have already passed. I'm passed the first stage of Exchange, and now I really have settled in, gotten closer to my family, and kind of begun a day to day routine here. I get to school on my own, I know how to help around the house, and my mom and I have our favorite bakery that we love going to. 

This past week I got to meet with a group of Exchange Students again in the city! Meeting with them is easily one my favorite things to do. I'm already good friends with a few guys that I met from Brasil, as well as people from Mexiko, India, and others. Someone that you've never met before, know nothing about, and just start talking to can become your best friend in a matter of hours. One of the girls here (from India) just started upa conversation with me, and five hours later we were still talking, knew more about each other than some of the people I've known for years back home, found out so much that we have in common, and have already made plans to hang out sometime soon. Already, I've made such amazing friends, and talk to them on a regular basis. Exchange gives you a connection to people that you could never get any place else.

            L --> R: Juhie (India), Yuri (Brasil), Me, 劉克薔 (Taiwan), David (Taiwan), Mathues (Brasil), Carlos (Mexico)

Also this past week, I went to the 'Big Band' that my school has. There's no way that I could play an instrument for 6 years, improve so much, and then somehow just stop for a year without losing so much progress. I definitely took my band class back home for granted. Here, there were 17 people including me (compared to about 60-70 at home). I didn't even play because the instrument they had for me was such a different make that I couldn't even do it. I didn't realize how good our program at ConVal really is. The director here is also my Deutsch, and DSP teacher. They don't focus as much on intonation, beat counts, dynamics, etc., and their 1st clarinet part was about equal to our 3rd, or maybe 2nd. Because schools in Germany don't have sports teams, unlike at home, there are no pep rally's, no big events to play at, so the band itself is a much smaller ordeal, and for the most part the atmosphere is just so different.

I finally filled out my first Monthly Report for Rotary yesterday. Everything I'm experiencing now was once just stories I'd heard about from Rebounds at meetings in my home district. I never knew how they would come to life for me, and I've definitely learned first-hand to put any expectations away, and just embrace everything that happens just as is comes.